GET 0VER iT.

wanna know what i think is sad?
we live in a world full of shallow people. or JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE. i'm not saying everyone in this world is shallow, but most people are. you change your style or whatever, people treat you different. like what people don't understand is that personality is the same. that doesnt apply to most people either. BUT its true. people think that you were put on this world to please other people. WR0NG! let me get personal & let you get a better understanding on what i mean by all this. ohk sooo i get hit on a lot of guys on a daily basis right? its pretty ridiculous. & once i cut alll my hairr off all i do is get negative feedback from guys. WELL S0ME GUYS. like noooo blah why did you cuut it. its like duuude? i aint tryna do shit for you. i did it cos i wanted to. for myself. aint tryna impress no one. but naw waaait. thats not even the point im tryna get at. like for instance. this guy wrote me. look what he says "im sorry i know it was i just feel like why would u do that? why? why? it drives me crazy u ruined most of ur beauty" WTF?! soo im ugly now? or less attractive? wooow. & this is also what he said "i aint a hater its an opinion. haters hate for no rsn. compare ur default to some of ur long hair pix.. u look completlty differen... like a diff person" SEE WHAT i MEAN! different person? naw nigga im the saaame person. i don't know. i just felt like blogging about this. its been bugging me for awhile. people expect me to be this sex goddess or whatev. & I MUST L00K A CERTAiN WAY. im not a display ohk? im human. get over it. i cut my hair. soo fucking what damn. just tired of this. well im out. blogggg laterr.



-Jessica Jane

i smoke;; i drankk;; i jerkkkk :]]

thaanks paul! hella got me lightweight obsessed with that jerkin' movement again. ahhh makes me missss the good ol' times at worrk! ALEX! jerkin' king or whaaat? haha. anywaysss. dangg hella haven't blogged in so longgg. well life right now is getting better. my grandma is getting much better! she's out of ICU! so thats definitely a plus! they moved her into a different room yesterday. its hella funny because everytime i go visit her she always tries to fight with me because she be like, help me up. lets go. time to go home. ive been here to long. & id have to hold her down & tell her no shes not better yet. then she gets mad and tells me not to touch her. haha i love her. sooo school is BLAHH. hella withdrew from my history class. good thing i did cos i was noooot gonna pass that next exam. no sirrreebobby! haha on the bright side of things. i got my anthropology test back & omgg. hella got a "B" on that shit. don't know how but i got it. f'reaals that whole test i was like ehhh this seems right then i bubble it in. hahaa. i guess im just a really good guesser. :]] ughhh VALENTiNE'S DAY is coming up. kinnaaa wish i had one! since i never have one. haha. hella tryna not make this a big deal tho! i think i have an idea on who i want to ask to be mines on valentines. haha surprises are the best right??? oooh weeee can't wait! best not look hella moded when i do it tho. haha. anyways i'ma blog more about this v-day shizzz tmrw. ima go to beddd. NiGHHTT <3333



-Jessica Jane

He's just not that into you.

So it's time to vent again. I've been feeing happy, sad, happy, sad, lately. Like my mood just switches up on me. I think its only cos' I like to over elaborate on things & that makes me stress even more. I NEED TO ST0P STRESSiNG. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm too young to stress, but daamn I can't help it. So yesterday I went & seen "he's just not that into you" with Paul, & daamn that movie got me hella thinkin. Maybe he really isn't that into me. Ugh. I'm definitely into him tho. No doubt. I don't think I've ever felt this way with a guy before. Even when I was with Ruben. Yah me & him been together for hella long, but straight from the gate with him the feelings were different. It's weird. I mean not weird. I'm just not that use to it. Its a good feeling thats why. I have a good feeling about this one. I think this one is sooo worth the waait. I mean if anything ever happens that is. Like I said. I'm not rushing anything. Let time take its toll. :] Anyways. Ruben? My mom asked me about him today. My exact words were "eww. don't bring his name up. I hate him." shit look how bad we ended. He got me fucked up f'reals. Like what does he want from me? What did I do wrong to be sucha bad girlfriend. According to him I was. What the feezy? I was a fuckin good girlfriend. I did everything for this nigga. I supported this nigga. I spoiled this nigga. I was the only one there for him. & what do I get in return? Being labeled as a shitty ass girlfriend. Ugh that still hella upsets me. Guys are soo fucking stupid. Well he is atleast. I always get taken for granted. Eww. Why am I even talkin about him. I don't need this. What I need is to change all my shit so he has no contact with me whatsoever. Anyways imma blog more laterr.

-Jessica Jane

D0N'T RAiN 0N My PARADE.

So today was pretty much shitty. Woke up & went to school. Took my Philosophy test today. Omg. I did not do so well. Well I wasn't confident so idk. I wasn't even there to watch that Woody Allen film Murder's & Misdemeanors cos' I was at the hospital & the whole test was based off that shit. Ugh he could have atleast threw stuff in from the readings & slides. Shit. Oh well if I ended up doing bad that would be tossed out cos' he tosses the worse grade out. So that means I have to do well on my other ones. Then I went home on my break & took a quickie nap cos' I was sooo tired. Idk why. Went back to school at eleven & went to my Anthropology class. & thaank god the exam was postponed till tomorrow. I was hella trippen rushing to buy a fucking parscore & shit. Oh well more time to studyyy. Then history was laame. No one was there. Went home after picked up Kali from school & we both pretty muched passed out in my mom's rooom. Haha. PMSing makes you hella tired! I swear. Haha. Then I woke up at seven did some homework & shit. & just visited my Grandma in the hospital. She's soo cute. I asked her if she liked me more than my cousin and she nodded yess. Haha cousin's hella indenial tho. & oh that reminds me! I'm hella mad at her. Ugh she always has something negative to say to me. Shit. It's like wow? Who are you to talk to me the way you do. Make me feel like shit. I felt hella DUMB! Thanks. Hella made me seem like I ain't got no backbone. That I need to rely on my extended family to make it in life. Started listing shit off & shit. Hella uncalled for. Then everyone started ganging up on me & putting their two cents in. So I was like fucked that. & hella left. I don't need that shit. Real talk. I hate how they always shit on me. I'm like someone they use when they need favors. Ugh. wtf ever.
I'm out.

-Jessica Jane

PS: HELLA SAW PAULS TWiN T0DAY. haha

BEAUTiFUL DAy <3

So today started off pretty cool. I text Paul <3 this morning to wish him good luck & to tell him to have a good day today. Haha. He's sooo cuuute. Then after he text me I was gonna do my make-up & get ready but I got hella side tracked and played me some crazy taxi. Haha omg I'm hella obsessed with that gaame. I'm hella on a mission to beat Paul's high score tho. :] haha. Then after I was forrsure forrsure supposed to get ready cos' the best was coming to pick me up so we can go to breakfast & take me to take my make-up quiz & I ended up sleeeping 'till like 8:30 so I was likee shiiiit I'ma be laate. So I just threw on my v-neck tee, jeans, & my lace up vans & left. Hella did my make-up in the car tho! Haha. Then when we finna go there I went to my teachers office to take that quiz and on her door was a sticky note that said "Office hours are closed for today" I was like what the feeezy?! So mad! Haha. Then I decided not to go to class at all today cos' I didn't really have to since I have all the notes & me & the best went out to eat instead. We was gonna go to Denny's for their free grand slam shit thingy today but the line was dummyass long & I didn't really want to go in the first place cos' I wasn't that desperate for some free food. We fucked with Ihop instead. :] My omelet was was soooo yummy. & I hella got french toast. Hella not the business. They were so dry. I was disappointed. Haha. But I didn't want to seem like a bug so I was like whatev. Only cos' I work at a restaurant like that too & its a bitch when customers nit pick & complain about their fooods. So I didn't do that. Then now I'm home & I was contemplating on whether or not I should go running right now, but I'ma just wait 'till Jackie gets home & we'll go together. :]] Anyways thats all for now. Haha. Byeee <333


-Jessica Jane

BABy MAMA DRAMA. NAAAWT. haha :]]

So today was an ohk day I guess. NAWT. Hella started off with me leaving the house later than usual & I couldn't find my keys soo I had to get the copy & taaake Jackie's house keys. Ugh hate when that happens. Wastes hella time. Anyways..I Actually went to my morning class. Haha. & I actually had a long conversation with my teacher. Weird. He's pretty cool tho :] & after thaaat best fraaan met me on my break & we just chilled. Then I got dropped off at school a little early because I needed to study for my makeup quiz in my Cultural Anthropology class. Went to that class & my teacher said I didn't have to do it until tomorrow during her office hours soo I was happy. & Jenna hella gave me her quiz to studyyy. Thanks girrl. You're the best! Then I went to my history class & we got our true&false/essay's backkk. Not too happy with the results. Just shoot me already why don't you. I swear Cini grades sooo fucking hard. Ugh. I might withdrawl from that class. I don't know yet. Ugh. School stresses me out right now. Whatev. So yahh. I'ma have to pick Kali up in like five minutes then take her all the way to Sothear's house then go stay with my grandma. I swear my days are never relaxing. I'm always doing something for somebody. Hella annoying tho. Well I'ma cut this short & write when I get back home at like sevenish? kay byeeee <3



-Jessica Jane <3

Life

Dear Diary,

So I finally got this blog spot thingy. I was gonna just re-open my xanga just so I can blog, but I thought to myself, "who uses xanga still now a dayys?" BOPS! haha. Swear I'm not hating. & plus I got tired of writing blogs on myspace. So venting time. Ughhhh I'm soo fucking stressed out. No one understands me. I hate it. I feel like the only thing that keeps me sane is writing my feelings down. Maybe thats why I blog a lot. Is that a good thing? Haha. Anyways. Parents are most definately stressing me the fuck out. F'reals. Its getting hella annoying. Especially my mom. It's like daaamn. Give me some room to fucking breathe. & School? Lets not even bring that up. I mean I'm doing soo well this quarter. I think one of my bestest quarters. Hence that I'm taking harder classes too this quarter. I'm pretty proud of myself & happy that I'm actually getting good grades on my test & quizzes. But ughhh I hella feel like I'ma be stuck at DeAnza FOREVERRR! I just want to finish already. Thats why I signed up for Academy of Salon Professionals. I swear doing make-up & hair is my passion! I love it. But my mom does not see eye to eye with me on that one. Which hella sucks. & Family? My bestest friend in the whole wide world is in the hospital again. My GRANDMA. Yes she is my BESTEST FRiEND. She's the only one who understood me. She was the only one who cared a lot about me. She was the only one who appreciated me. & seeing her lay in her bed with a million tubes down her nose, mouth neck, arms, etc. breaks my heart. I literally feel broken. I hate seeing her like that. ICU? Thats not good. I want her better so she can get out of ICU. I love her sooo much. I know she can fight through this. I'm praying. & thank you for everyone thats praying for her. It makes me smile & cry at the same time when I go visit her in ICU & she responds to me by holding my hand. :] She's like the greatest grandma ever. I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to her. I think I cried the most out of everyone when doctors let out bad news. It's only because I take care of her, I visit her everyday after school, & I run errands for her. I would have nothing to look forward to if she wasn't here. So I'm praying that she makes a speedy recovery. Love Life? Haha. Oh no. Don't even get me started with my love life. It's very complicating. I'm very interested in this one boy though. Like he gives me butterflies everytime I think about him or talk to him :] Its a good feeling. Ain't tryna rush things tho. Takin' it slow. Goin' with the flow of things. Because I really want to see the outcome of all this. I hope its good :] Haha oh gaawwd. How I hate that us females can't read a guys mind. I wish I could though. It would sure make like a hell of a lot easier. Anyways I'ma go MiMi's :] G'niteee <3



-Jessica Jane <3